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Disregard all messages!

Message From Mars is a scam. Do not believe it. We Martians do not exist! If we did, your superior technology would enable Earth Scientists to peer right through our Camoflagoo Shield and see our vast cities, quaint, friendly towns and sexy gents and ladies.

There is no such person as Mikag geNoob and if I did exist I would have had a better looking girlfriend than tubby-in-the-butt Feela-li Whatever... and I wouldn't have been dumb enough to put billions in a Swiss bank on your crazy planet, so disregard all messages she might send you.

Because chubby Feela-li is so dumb (and doesn't even exist anyway) I have been able to hack her website and post these warnings here. First off, and meaning no disrespect to any Earth creature, I have to ask if you realize how much time you are wasting on this? There are no Martians! There are only "There are no Martians!" tee shirts and coffee mugs and other such stuff being hawked on the website. Though the items possess an undeniable exotic beauty and will undoubtedly increase in value over time, purchasing them will only encourage Ms. Dough Hips to keep telling her lies - and will never get you any closer to any big time Martian moolah.

With uppermost sincerity,
Mikag geNoob
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