As a public service to low-budget constituents, the good folks at Adnob, Adnob and Rebob have negotiated the lowering of the donation threshold to rock bottom. This prominent Washington law firm, which lobbies on behalf of economy class influence peddlers, is now making it possible for YOU to jump to the head of the line at the Clinton Coffee Wagon ...which is parked each morning right outside the East Gate. 

That's right, for a paltry donation of $25 (make your check out to bagman Frank Fitzgerald) we can put you in the picture with our esteemed entrepreneur President and chief caffeine chef, William Jefferson Clinton. AND if it is a slow day, Bill just might have time to listen to what's been on your mind lately. Buy a few bagels to go and, who knows, he might even remember your paltry problems when the appropriate legislation comes across his desk (inside the White House). 

Needless to say, this generous offer is limited to those astute citizens quick enough to act on a bargain while it lasts. Prices are subject to change so ACT NOW to reserve your place at the percolator. All we will need for our staff artists to craft this wonderment of internet assisted presidential coffee-clatching is a clear photo of your prestigious face. With this in hand (and the nominal $25 donation) YOU will be placed into the above 26 KB illustration and a copy will be delivered to you by email or made available for download. 

You can display the picture on your desktop or website, or print it out and distribute it to your friends as proof positive of your power and influence! You could also email a copy to President Bill himself (president@whitehouse.gov) as a reminder of your cherished relationship and/or shared goals and/or concerns and/or committment to one thing or another for the common good or something. 

He might even be interested to hear your opinions about political fund raising and campaign finance reform. Who knows? 

So, what are you waiting for? Email Adnob NOW for details. Just enter "Coffeeclatch" in the Subject line and you will be contacted pronto. 

Remember: If you want something in life, you have to ask for it.  So, in one of  President Clinton's more cogent utterances, "What's your pleasure, one lump or two?"